She acted up the days leading up to and on Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving morning demanded to be taken to her house and left to die. My brother stepped in and she settled down for a few days. She is starting up again as Christmas is getting close. She has boycotted us the last several holidays. Last night she said she was going to a nursing home. I wish I had that on video as I would be making those phone calls myself. She needs one. Here is the thing though, we me and mom finally do snap and put her in one, she will never speak to either of us again. As much as I am ready for her to go, I am not ready for that.
I would like to think that. I also think maybe a month in one would let her see how good she has it here. A nursing home is not going to let her demand and choose every 5 course meal she wants. She will not be allowed to eat everything she wants, when she wants no matter how big of a fit she throws if you say no. I actually feel bad in a way for the staff when she goes to one. She fights with you over taking her medicine. Fights with you when you help her get a bath, half the time flat out refusing. They will not let that happen. I cannot tell you the times have been halfway through fixing her and the family a meal and she decide she does not want that. She will call what you are making crap, say she is not eating it she wants something else. If you do not fix it she will go off, and at times throw things. She is breaking us down. My brother actively avoids her for the most part. He has a temper and is deathly afraid he is going to say something to her he cannot take back. He is her favorite grandchild, and had a very close relationship with her. He does not recognize her anymore. My dad, he wants to say something to her but stays out of it at mom's request. Instead, he hides when he is home, with the horses.
Frequently they are worse with family than they are in a care facility. Because they know they can “get away with it” with family. Staff in facilities are trained to deal with temper tantrums like that.
Her actions and attitude are taking a toll on your entire family. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. To put this in chicken terms using a phrase I have often seen stated by Mrs K, at some point you are going to have to solve things “for the peace of the flock”. Yes she will throw temper tantrums and say she will never speak to you again if you put her in a facility, but that is mostly emotional blackmail. There is no guarantee of what will actually happen. But odds are she will pout/refuse to see you for a few months and then get over it.
Good luck, and rant here all you want when you need to.
