Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[BY Bob]

Sally's Dada was a good horse - he would go anywhere, He even jumped into the back of a pickup truck once

He walked into my friends kitchen, he would spend time on our back deck....

One day he escaped during the night and I found him outside the barn at 4:30am. I shoved him in a stall. When I got home from work my mum told me the neighbour up the road was complaining because my horse had run up there and pooped on there front door step!

She told them that all our horses were accounted for, but that my father wasn't afraid of horse manure and would clean it up for them, which he did.

I started laughing and told her - well, Indy was loose in front of the barn this morning so I shoved him in a stall for the day. We both got a laugh out of it.

It isn't normal for horses to just wander away from the herd so I was surprised he ran up the road for half a kilometer. Of course this is the famous horse in Barrie that was found running south bound in the north bound lanes of the 400 hwy by two OPP officers. They caught him and tied him to a fence. I snuck up and led him home - in the News that night they said that the horse 'disappeared' and no one called to claim him.


Seriously though - if he had been hit by a vehicle and killed someone it wouldn't have been funny for me.

After that second incident Indy was under lock and key. He could undo latches, untie knots... he was a brat!

Brat Tax
Roxanne and Stanley - miss these two

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I'm laughing at the horse story because it had a happy outcome.

 

[RoyalChick]

The liquid calcium i have is for reptiles, but i give it to the chickens too. It isn't very clear on how much calcium it is but i figure a lizard dose should be safe for a chicken.

Over dosing in laying hens isn't really a worry - I was thinking it might not have enough.

 

[RoyalChick]

Ya I know - and horrible for me to say today and all (after yesterday) - as much as I love my horses, if I had known how much fun chickens were - I would have got rid of the horses long ago!!! (sorry Sally! I still love you!).

Bad Kelly Tax

Just love this photo still
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That really is one of the all time great photos.
Have you entered it for the Valentine's day contest? You should!
https://www.backyardchickens.com/threads/2023-valentines-day-contest-series.1560735/

 

[RoyalChick]

Sally's Dada was a good horse - he would go anywhere, He even jumped into the back of a pickup truck once

He walked into my friends kitchen, he would spend time on our back deck....

One day he escaped during the night and I found him outside the barn at 4:30am. I shoved him in a stall. When I got home from work my mum told me the neighbour up the road was complaining because my horse had run up there and pooped on there front door step!

She told them that all our horses were accounted for, but that my father wasn't afraid of horse manure and would clean it up for them, which he did.

I started laughing and told her - well, Indy was loose in front of the barn this morning so I shoved him in a stall for the day. We both got a laugh out of it.

It isn't normal for horses to just wander away from the herd so I was surprised he ran up the road for half a kilometer. Of course this is the famous horse in Barrie that was found running south bound in the north bound lanes of the 400 hwy by two OPP officers. They caught him and tied him to a fence. I snuck up and led him home - in the News that night they said that the horse 'disappeared' and no one called to claim him.


Seriously though - if he had been hit by a vehicle and killed someone it wouldn't have been funny for me.

After that second incident Indy was under lock and key. He could undo latches, untie knots... he was a brat!

Brat Tax
Roxanne and Stanley - miss these two

View attachment 3387085

Wow - now I have a whole new reason to be scared of horses!
I can't even imagine how a horse could get in a pick-up truck.

 

[featherhead007]

That would be wonderful.

It’s not possible. I found Shenandoah and Coco in the same box, Jaffar sitting under the box with a look of bewilderment on his face! Then everyone left the area. I left the egg in the box anyways (I’m still hoping)

 

[featherhead007]

You might be rushing things a little. Give her a day or two.

When in doubt, listen carefully to Bob!!

 

[featherhead007]

Wow - now I have a whole new reason to be scared of horses!
I can't even imagine how a horse could get in a pick-up truck.

You kidding? Even Goats drive trucks! (Dodge Ram)! Horses can too probably.

 

[ChicoryBlue]

Ask Aurora

Today's question comes from @RebeccaBoyd chicken "A disgraced and tired monarch".

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She writes......

Dear Aurora,

How does a reigning queen recover from being utterly humiliated in front of her entire kingdom, horses included by her human servant. I am molting now and therefore am entitled to be grouchy. I get no peace at night and constantly have to peck everyone who thinks it is wise to try to snuggle up close to me. I NEED my space right now. Tonight I desperately wanted a good night sleep so I chose to sleep in the hay pile. I worked so hard to arrange every piece of hay to hide all but my comb. Imagine my horror a few hours later when my human stumbled upon me while throwing down hay to feed the horses. I do not care what she said, I did not almost get crushed by a tossed hay bale, it missed me by inches. I also do not think I deserved to then be forcefully removed from my bed and carried in front of everyone loudly protesting only to be unceremoniously plopped down on the roost in the chicken coop and locked in. That coop is for the silkies and mothers with babies. Now I have to listen to non-stop chatter of the little pip-squeaks and their mothers until morning. If I wanted to hear children peeping I would hatch some myself. I just wanted a good nights sleep.

Yours sincerely,

A disgraced and tired monarch.


Dear A disgraced and tired monarch,

Human servants can be so frustrating. I am constantly being asked questions about “Why do they do this?” “Why do they do that?”. Invariably the indignity done to you happens to every chicken at some point in their lives. What is to be done about it?

Sadly as hard as we work to train our human servants some of them will never reach the status of the truly enlightened ones. Ones who respect our ways and visit as little physical indignity as possible. Of course, we want to be rescued from some location where we were trapped or god forbid the super dangerous pools of water that sometimes populate their yards. I don’t understand their obsession with jumping in water and splashing around. You would think they were imbeciles splashing around like a bunch of brainless ducks. Nonetheless, If that goofy Phyllis falls in the pool again (it would be at least the 4th time, my gosh she is dense) I am sure she will want our human servant to pull her out and dry her off. But that should be the absolute limit of any contact. If Glynda wants to jump up on the human’s lap and talk to him in order to make a point, more power to her. But don’t dare try to pick her up and hold her.

I’d like to say our human servant knows this and really most of the time he is pretty good. However, lately for some reason, who knows why, he has taken to picking Hattie up and moving her to where the rest of us are in the yard. I don’t know why he is doing this. It is very vexing to both me and Hattie.

I have worked very hard to get Hattie to understand that it is best she sticks around her house. In fact, I just spent more than 20 minutes trying to convince her that it is in her interest to sleep in her house and not in my coop. It was exhausting chasing her out onto the porch only to have her come back in. It feels like I have been running in circles for days and now I must sleep in a nest box because it is too dark to roost. Why won’t she just take the hint?

So everyone is mad, me because Hattie is with us again and Hattie because he picked her up and moved her about the yard like she was some kind of stupid garden gnome.

I’ll tell you what, last time he picked Hattie up I was so mad I sent Lady Featherington after him. She was going to peck him hard if he had not moved quickly.

Sometimes I really wish I had a newspaper………

And that leads me back to your problem. Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do. The humans are bigger than us and sometimes they are quite dense, like yours. Try to train them as best you can but sooner or later they are going to pick you up. What you need to do is make them pay a price for picking you up.

You can do that immediately by pecking them hard and often. They do not realize how much a peck can hurt until you show them. You never know they might be startled and drop you. Look for a piece of their skin that is visible, peck it hard, and be ready to flap as soon as you peck so you can land gracefully. If pecking them doesn’t work there is another way to make them pay a price for being so disrespectful.

Humans really live in a mushy state where they feel all their chickens should like each other and get along. We all know that is not The Way of the Chicken but sadly most humans do not. Therefore a great way to hurt their feelings is to terrorize all of the lessor chickens in your tribe. Now you need to be careful not to go too far as you don’t want cause too much distress. The key is cause enough to make you feel better and to remind everyone that they will pay a price whenever you as disgraced in this manner. It has the added benefit of securing your reign as top hen by remind everyone of their place. Do try to pick on their favorites as that will cause them the most distress and be certain to do it while they are watching. Sudden and unprovoked is best.

Sansa was exceptionally good at this. Gosh I admired her moxie. She knew how to the play the game the right way. I’ll never forget one night Phyllis thought she should be allowed to roost in the prime spot on the roost and Sansa was torqued over the human giving Phyllis more walnuts than her that afternoon. Walnuts were Sansa’s special thing with the human, and she knew that goofy old Phyllis was one of his favorites. So with him watching she walked right up to Phyllis on the roost and just pecked her right in the face. Gosh it was glorious. I never laughed so hard in my life. She was a true chicken that Sansa.

Before I go let’s discuss this chick situation you have going on at night. You need to put a stop to the incessant cheeping. I can only imagine how annoying that is. You have erred greatly in permitting this to continue and you need to put a stop to it. Now let me first say, I love the young ones. Not enough mind you to waste months of my valuable time hatching and raising them. I am a career hen. I don’t have time for that. But I respect the hens like Sydney who decide to take on the task of raising the next generation. I have had many chances to be with the little ones and I think that when they are raised well, they are little darlings. I love nothing more than walking by and talking to them, showing them the best grass to eat, etc. Remember, chicks are our future. It is not their fault if they are badly behaved. It is their mother’s fault and that is where you need to address their behavior.

You have been lax and now you are going to have to drop the hammer. If a momma hen can’t keep her chicks in line than you need to send one of your minions to deliver a message. Of course, pick a hen who is smart enough to actually relay the message. Once they deliver the necessary discipline and message I assure you that things should calm down. I do know that I addressed this with Sydney up front. I threatened her nest. I told her I would destroy it like I destroyed Phyllis’s nest if she did not promise to keep her little ones in line. Sydney knew the ground rules and Ned and Lucky were perfectly behaved little darlings. I hope that someday one of my tribe will hatch out little ones again. I just hope that the human does not let that annoying Phyllis hatch eggs. She would be even more unbearable than she is now. And can you imagine, a bunch of those little weirdos running around. How annoying would that be!

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Another great one from the Great One! Loved it. This was quite extensive and far-ranging, presented with video examples, oh my! Thank you for posting her letters!

Look at Sansa, mugging for you at 13 seconds, "Oh, you're watching now, huh? Watch this!" and then BLAM...blam-blam! That was indeed impressive....ly cruel. Poor Phyllis! I hope she hatches out a dozen "little weirdos" for Aurora to admire!

Aurora destroyed Phyllis's nest?

 

[RebeccaBoyd]

Another great one from the Great One! Loved it. This was quite extensive and far-ranging, presented with video examples, oh my! Thank you for posting her letters!

Look at Sansa, mugging for you at 13 seconds, "Oh, you're watching now, huh? Watch this!" and then BLAM...blam-blam! That was indeed impressive....ly cruel. Poor Phyllis! I hope she hatches out a dozen "little weirdos" for Aurora to admire!

Aurora destroyed Phyllis's nest?

I too hope Phyllis hatches some chicks. We have saw in the past that indeed while she has no desire to hatch her own she is clearly fond and fascinated with chicks. I doubt it will happen, but wouldn't it be something this year that Aurora was the broody one and not Phyllis. Can you imagine her face if she sat on eggs and hatched out the weirdo's herself.

 

[RebeccaBoyd]

Her name is Perdita
It means the lost one, I know she isn’t lost but I like the name

I informed Rosie we now have a Perdita. Well, we sort of do, her nickname is Purdy.