Fluffy Butt Acres: Stories of our flock

[lightm]

Ask Aurora

This week’s question comes from @RoyalChick Eli

View attachment 3432344

Dear Aurora,
I know your scribe is busy on other duties, but maybe you could give this your attention when you get a chance. My hooman explained that the scribe was unavailable because of a thing called ‘werk’. I wasn’t really listening, but she explained it was something to do with being able to keep you all supplied with meal worms, so it sounded important.

Anyway, the topic I want to raise with you is very important to me and I believe also to the chicken world in general.

Before I explain more, let me remind you about myself. I am a small chicken and definitely not the leader of the pack. I am fine with that and I spend most of my time on my two main passions which are cultivating my beard and whiskers, and EATING. I should say I also enjoy flying but that is not really a hobby, it is just who I am (and no, I don’t expect I will grow out of it as RC hopes).
It is about my second passion that I am writing and a dilemma I have concerning BROCCOLI.

My hooman says it is good for me ‘that’ll put hair on your chest feathers on your beard’. In general I trust her menu recommendations - I particularly like the dried up cat food (made from venison she says), and the sunflower seeds she hides under her jacket are simply the best things on earth - but in this case I am not so sure. Bernadette, who is the boss hen here, says not to touch it.

I mean I quite like how it looks and smells. I even think I remember it from childhood. But if Bernie says no, does that mean I can’t even try it?

This is really messing with my head. I mean food is my thing. What am I to do here?

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Yours, perpetually in search of a snack,
Eli



Dear Eli,

So you are one of Bernadette’s minions. Good for her. I see she took my advice and ascended to the lofty status she rightly deserved. If only the rest of the world would listen to me and honor “The Way of the Chicken” there would be fewer problems.

I also see you recognize that she is your better. That is good. Follow “The Way” and your life will be happy and fulfilled.

Broccoli. I have to say I can’t stand the stuff. No one here likes it. Give us some brussels sprouts or a cabbage any day. Hattie loves the lettuce. We really do like vegetables here.

But Broccoli………….Blech.

Put us all in the same category as that former president George Herbert Walker Bush. No thank you.

Hmmmmmm………..President Aurora………………

View attachment 3432341

The entire world would be a better place if I was in charge. I could solve that Ukraine situation quickly………………………


Sorry, drifted off there.

President Bush said, "I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid. And my mother made me eat it. Now I'm president of the United States. And I'm not gonna eat any more broccoli!" Remember when you are President or Queen of your tribe, you do not have to eat broccoli if you do not want.

Now I understand your dilemma. You want to follow “The Way” and be a good minion for Bernadette. Bernadette is your better and you should follow her lead. But then there is another potion of “The Way” which covers food.

Have you ever noticed that when treats are provided or something cool is located there are no rules as to who gets the food. It is a scrum, a free-for-all. I’m sure you have seen a hen at the bottom of the pecking order running off with something cool to eat and other hens chasing after her. We lead hens try our best to remind you of your place but there are times when even Phyllis or Betty steal food from me. Heck Lady Featherington stole the best part of a piece of sushi the other day. Did I beat her up over it? No, I did not. No grudges are held. Winner Takes All is “The Way of the Chicken.” If you can grab it and eat it before someone else can take it from you, you win.

So now we have a conundrum. It seems that two pieces of "The Way" are in contradiction. Actually, they are not. Finders’ Keepers supersedes obeying your betters. When there is food to be eaten, there are no rules other than Darwin’s, Survival of the Fittest

Your problem is that your lead hen is new to the business. Therefore, she wants to control everything you do. To her if she allows you any leeway her rule is threatened. This is common in new rulers who have not had the ability to learn from another Queen how to lead others prior to ascending the throne.

You have two choices.

1. You can wait for Bernadette to feel more comfortable in her rule and she lets up. The downside to this is that it could be years and you love food. This could be awfully hard.
2. You can invoke Winner Takes All and eat what you want. You may get a peck over this but it does have 2 benefits, you can eat broccoli if you want and it will speed up the process of Bernadette learning that you eating some disgusting broccoli is actually not a threat to her rule.

To me it is your duty to Bernadette and all other chickens who will be a part of your tribe to choose option 2. A good minion can help a leader by reminding her of “the Way” from time to time. It is your responsibility to help her to be a better leader. If that means you get pecked for your trouble that a price you must pay for the good of all.

Therefore, I am challenging you to fulfill your purpose within “The Way of the Chicken” and eat some gross disgusting broccoli. You be your best self and go eat whatever you want and don’t let Bernadette tell you any different.

As for will broccoli put feathers in your beard? I have covered that before. Human servants will say that anything their children won’t eat that is “good for them” will put hair on their chest, give you curly hair, etc. Your human servant is just treating you like a child. She thinks that broccoli is good for you. If you want more beard feathers eat spicy food. If you want to eat broccoli, eat broccoli. If you are like those of us here at FBA and don’t like broccoli, then don’t eat it.

Aurora

View attachment 3432340



P.S. I have been thinking some more on Broccoli.

You know the only thing that Broccoli was good for is James Bond.


Hmmmmm………….James Bond………………..


Aurora…………Queen Aurora

View attachment 3432342View attachment 3432343

Your writing is incredible, Bob!

 

[lightm]

Well I managed to feed the chooks, I just need to get some water for them. Ive been sick since friday and we havent been able to figure out why. I sat at the ER last night for 4 hours then left because it was taking to long. I get waves of nausea and throw up and my stomach and sides hurt. I gave blood and urine at the drs. office and the er. Im still waiting for results. I have a neurologist appt tomorrow I need to go to I hope I feel ok. I dont feel like the flu or anything like that, I just keep throwing up. Ive only eaten 4 times since friday and lost weight. I have baby chicks hatching soon so this is a bad time to be sick.

Maybe you can suggest a CT scan around that area?

 

[lightm]

Now that is a difficult question. It is about the tribe of chickens at Fluffy Butt Acres and their antics. Over time that tribe of chickens has expanded and is now a bit of a virtual tribe of chickens so we all share stories and pictures of our chickens.
It is mainly about the chickens, but we are also cat lovers, horse lovers and are suckers for goats. So those critters have their days in the week when we share pictures.
I think what binds us is that we love our chickens and other animals and that we appreciate telling or reading a good story about them.
Sometimes we get diverted and just chit chat but there are rules about paying tax in chicken pictures that seek to limit non-chicken topics.
We are also united in our appreciation of Bob, the host of the thread, who creates a very welcoming and friendly environment for us all.
I am not sure if that is a good explanation and I imagine others will pile on to improve it.
Meanwhile, in the spirit of the thread, here is my tax payment for chatting: Babs on full alert about something

View attachment 3432520

Well written.

But Babs, wow, what a glorious chicken!

 

[Pastel the Rooster]

Wow everyone is looking splendid!

Everyone except poor Bolt

Oh, but her beak is really bothering me. I don't want to spend a million dollars on the vet, but they may know what to do....
She hated it when I filed her beak, but I feel like I should try more.
I have a dremel, but I worry that I will hurt her.
If I stop at the quick, can I trim her beak with dog nail clippers?
I just worry that her beak is getting worse and that she is not as comfortable as she could/should be.

 

[Pastel the Rooster]

Ask Aurora

This week’s question comes from @RoyalChick Eli

View attachment 3432344

Dear Aurora,
I know your scribe is busy on other duties, but maybe you could give this your attention when you get a chance. My hooman explained that the scribe was unavailable because of a thing called ‘werk’. I wasn’t really listening, but she explained it was something to do with being able to keep you all supplied with meal worms, so it sounded important.

Anyway, the topic I want to raise with you is very important to me and I believe also to the chicken world in general.

Before I explain more, let me remind you about myself. I am a small chicken and definitely not the leader of the pack. I am fine with that and I spend most of my time on my two main passions which are cultivating my beard and whiskers, and EATING. I should say I also enjoy flying but that is not really a hobby, it is just who I am (and no, I don’t expect I will grow out of it as RC hopes).
It is about my second passion that I am writing and a dilemma I have concerning BROCCOLI.

My hooman says it is good for me ‘that’ll put hair on your chest feathers on your beard’. In general I trust her menu recommendations - I particularly like the dried up cat food (made from venison she says), and the sunflower seeds she hides under her jacket are simply the best things on earth - but in this case I am not so sure. Bernadette, who is the boss hen here, says not to touch it.

I mean I quite like how it looks and smells. I even think I remember it from childhood. But if Bernie says no, does that mean I can’t even try it?

This is really messing with my head. I mean food is my thing. What am I to do here?

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Yours, perpetually in search of a snack,
Eli



Dear Eli,

So you are one of Bernadette’s minions. Good for her. I see she took my advice and ascended to the lofty status she rightly deserved. If only the rest of the world would listen to me and honor “The Way of the Chicken” there would be fewer problems.

I also see you recognize that she is your better. That is good. Follow “The Way” and your life will be happy and fulfilled.

Broccoli. I have to say I can’t stand the stuff. No one here likes it. Give us some brussels sprouts or a cabbage any day. Hattie loves the lettuce. We really do like vegetables here.

But Broccoli………….Blech.

Put us all in the same category as that former president George Herbert Walker Bush. No thank you.

Hmmmmmm………..President Aurora………………

View attachment 3432341

The entire world would be a better place if I was in charge. I could solve that Ukraine situation quickly………………………


Sorry, drifted off there.

President Bush said, "I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid. And my mother made me eat it. Now I'm president of the United States. And I'm not gonna eat any more broccoli!" Remember when you are President or Queen of your tribe, you do not have to eat broccoli if you do not want.

Now I understand your dilemma. You want to follow “The Way” and be a good minion for Bernadette. Bernadette is your better and you should follow her lead. But then there is another potion of “The Way” which covers food.

Have you ever noticed that when treats are provided or something cool is located there are no rules as to who gets the food. It is a scrum, a free-for-all. I’m sure you have seen a hen at the bottom of the pecking order running off with something cool to eat and other hens chasing after her. We lead hens try our best to remind you of your place but there are times when even Phyllis or Betty steal food from me. Heck Lady Featherington stole the best part of a piece of sushi the other day. Did I beat her up over it? No, I did not. No grudges are held. Winner Takes All is “The Way of the Chicken.” If you can grab it and eat it before someone else can take it from you, you win.

So now we have a conundrum. It seems that two pieces of "The Way" are in contradiction. Actually, they are not. Finders’ Keepers supersedes obeying your betters. When there is food to be eaten, there are no rules other than Darwin’s, Survival of the Fittest

Your problem is that your lead hen is new to the business. Therefore, she wants to control everything you do. To her if she allows you any leeway her rule is threatened. This is common in new rulers who have not had the ability to learn from another Queen how to lead others prior to ascending the throne.

You have two choices.

1. You can wait for Bernadette to feel more comfortable in her rule and she lets up. The downside to this is that it could be years and you love food. This could be awfully hard.
2. You can invoke Winner Takes All and eat what you want. You may get a peck over this but it does have 2 benefits, you can eat broccoli if you want and it will speed up the process of Bernadette learning that you eating some disgusting broccoli is actually not a threat to her rule.

To me it is your duty to Bernadette and all other chickens who will be a part of your tribe to choose option 2. A good minion can help a leader by reminding her of “the Way” from time to time. It is your responsibility to help her to be a better leader. If that means you get pecked for your trouble that a price you must pay for the good of all.

Therefore, I am challenging you to fulfill your purpose within “The Way of the Chicken” and eat some gross disgusting broccoli. You be your best self and go eat whatever you want and don’t let Bernadette tell you any different.

As for will broccoli put feathers in your beard? I have covered that before. Human servants will say that anything their children won’t eat that is “good for them” will put hair on their chest, give you curly hair, etc. Your human servant is just treating you like a child. She thinks that broccoli is good for you. If you want more beard feathers eat spicy food. If you want to eat broccoli, eat broccoli. If you are like those of us here at FBA and don’t like broccoli, then don’t eat it.

Aurora

View attachment 3432340



P.S. I have been thinking some more on Broccoli.

You know the only thing that Broccoli was good for is James Bond.


Hmmmmm………….James Bond………………..


Aurora…………Queen Aurora

View attachment 3432342View attachment 3432343

I was laughing so hard at this!! BBQ, Bolt, and Willow will vote for her, but Splotch may run herself! She can be very scary! Pastel follows whatever she says!

Spooky Splotch

 

[RoyalChick]

Everyone except poor Bolt View attachment 3432665
Oh, but her beak is really bothering me. I don't want to spend a million dollars on the vet, but they may know what to do....
She hated it when I filed her beak, but I feel like I should try more.
I have a dremel, but I worry that I will hurt her.
If I stop at the quick, can I trim her beak with dog nail clippers?
I just worry that her beak is getting worse and that she is not as comfortable as she could/should be.

I don’t have direct experience but from what I have read you need to file but just a tiny bit every day.
Needs a lot of patience.

 

[BY Bob]

Her name is Raven! She is 75 percent silkie and 25 percent polish. And I didn’t know that haha, she is getting a drink so that is a nice coincidence!

A Polkie!

 

[BY Bob]

Your writing is incredible, Bob!

You are most kind.

 

[BY Bob]

I was laughing so hard at this!! BBQ, Bolt, and Willow will vote for her, but Splotch may run herself! She can be very scary! Pastel follows whatever she says!

Spooky SplotchView attachment 3432668

It's a whole new party.......

The "republichickens" or the "demopoultry"?

 

[Kris5902]

I think hens can have spurs sometimes... can't they?

Older hens can get spurs, But that little dude reminds me of Sammy (my Best Rooster Ever) Vanquisher of Eagles, Rescuer from Owls, and survivor of Several Mink battles… just saying he sure looks like a keeper to me!