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My Chihuahua is acting weird. He refused to sleep in his bed so I washed it and he still wouldn’t lay in it. He’s hanging around me a lot. He never used to. His personality is the same but different. I don’t know how else to explain it. More concerning he sits outside in the snow. He’s eating. I’ve seen him poop recently. Maybe he’s just slow? He’s 12.
Something I can give him to get things moving but not blow out?
 
staceyj said:
Are you kidding me?!? That’s WAY better than just a start!
That’s taking a STAND! Give that man a big hug from me!
I am so happy for you.
And congrats on the job!
*still think you need to chicken-ize that office! ;)
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Thanks my friend!

I agree. I mean, it seems like a really small thing (for me) but he is so used to doing anything and everything for his family, and never saying "no" to them (and subsequently, "yes" to me, and to us). He never really understood that it is OK to set boundaries (not just OK, but necessary!) and part of that is not saying yes to every single thing people ask you to go to (or do something for them) just because they are family.

Call me selfish (and DH has, and I'm sure his family has, but I don't really care) but I have no problem telling people NO. And I don't feel guilty for it. I learned to stand up for myself a long time ago, and part of that is not saying yes to everything and everybody.

That is one thing DH never understood. And he never said "no" to his kids either, and they are all a bunch of spoiled, self-entitled babies who are in their 20's and thirties and all have kids, and never learned to work or take care of themselves.

I've been listening to (and reading) a lot of Brene Brown lately. One thing she says, and I love, is (before automatically saying "yes" or speaking your truth, no matter how difficult) is this:

Choose discomfort over resentment.

As in: The temporary discomfort you feel at the moment of speaking your truth and getting it out there, is way better than having day's (or weeks, or years!) worth of resentments stored up inside you, festering.

Nobody likes a bitter martyr, lol. "Selfishness"--in my eyes--is way underrated (And yes, I do things for people, and say yes, just not to anything and everything).

And PS: Oh yeah, that office WILL be chickenized, lol. Once I can sort through all the piles of papers and charts, reorganize, throw out a bunch of stuff, and figure put exactly what the h3ll I'm doing.... :)
 
21hens-incharge said:
:hugs:hugs:hugs

I am so sorry that his family was not raised to be thoughtful or considerate. He sounds WAY to passive.

Knowing that about me gives perspective on any advice I toss out there.

I know it is not in your nature to tell people off. It appears it is not in your hubby's nature either. :hmm

There are hurts and insults that they dish out that you should not be expected to tolerate.

Meeting them on their ground with this thought......

Next time some picture of his ex pops up......
Just what I would say......
"You all must have really thought the world of her. I notice that her picture is pulled out often. It's such a shame you cannot feel that way about me. It makes it hard for me to feel wanted at these family gatherings when even though they have been divorced for such a long time she is still included even though she is not here. "

Then turn and walk away.

They can think it over, say negative crap, or be confrontational....... Brace for whatever may roll from it.
Nothing in what I typed should cause your hubs to have a tude.
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Hi Henny,

I got behind in answering people's posts. And I wanted to answer this one, even though it's a little old. Because it is GOOD.

He is way passive. When it came to me, in regard to his family, that is. And it's crazy, because the man is a black belt and would not hesitate to knock somebody out if he needed to, or speak his mind to a stranger. But his family? He caves.

You say:

I used to be super withdrawn, quiet, submissive etc. I guess the therapist did her job a little to well. I say what's on my mind and let the chips fall where they may,
crap still stings me but I sting back.

Dude....that is me, to a T. X1000 the same, and I used to be a doormat, for a long long time, until I was in my late 20's, early 30's or so. Then I took an assertiveness traing course, got my ass in therapy, took Tae Kwon Do, did a ton of self-work, and never looked back.

You say:

I know it is not in your nature to tell people off. It appears it is not in your hubby's nature either. :hmm


That is where you're wrong. Because I have no problem telling people off, lol. One of the things that us ex-doormats can tend to do, is go from being a total wuss to being like hey, this assertive stuff is great! and going the opposite direction , towards being aggressive. I've learned to tone it down over the years. But I am known for speaking my mind, and there are many times I made my hubby cringe.

Your above speech to say to his family? That is sheer genius. That is the kind of thing I wish I could think of to say in the moment, but I'm not quick like that. But I don't have to be. Beacuse I can say what I feel--and I did, this past week--and I'm never gonna keep my mouth shut again.

His family would never say anything back to me , lol. They are all passive like he is, and they don't say sh1t. Theyre not malicious (I don't think) they're just stupid.

And I think from now on, they can consider themselves schooled. :D :yesss:
 
FlyingNunFarm said:
My Chihuahua is acting weird. He refused to sleep in his bed so I washed it and he still wouldn’t lay in it. He’s hanging around me a lot. He never used to. His personality is the same but different. I don’t know how else to explain it. More concerning he sits outside in the snow. He’s eating. I’ve seen him poop recently. Maybe he’s just slow? He’s 12.
Something I can give him to get things moving but not blow out?
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Older dogs can get a type of doggie Alzheimer's. :( If it continues, I would take him to the vet if it coninues and work him up (bloodwork, xrays) to rule out anything serious with his health first. And then explore that route. There are meds for that if it is that.
 
Auroradream26 said:
We have one rabbit. He was a spur of the moment, free rabbit at a swap that my daughter begged for. Oreo lives in the living room and is extremely social. I'm sure he's just a mutt but he's a sweet mutt lol

Here he is, waking up his "mama" (DD)

View attachment 1610859 View attachment 1610858



:celebrate it's a start!
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How sweet. I wouldn't mind a mutt. I read about chickens a d rabbits cohabiting together all the time. That's my ultimate goal
 
pitbullmomma said:
Older dogs can get a type of doggie Alzheimer's. :( If it continues, I would take him to the vet if it coninues and work him up (bloodwork, xrays) to rule out anything serious with his health first. And then explore that route. There are meds for that if it is that.
Click to expand...
That actually makes sense. He’s just not quite himself.
 
FlyingNunFarm said:
That actually makes sense. He’s just not quite himself.
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Yeah, it's called Canine Cognitive Dysfunction. Google it and see if any of the symptoms of it resonate. It sucks, you're looking for cognitive changes, like they just get (and actually look) confused, they can get stuck in a corner, just look at the wall, stuff like that.

Like I said, you want to rule out anything else that may be causing it first. Hopefully it passes and he's just going through a little weird spell. :hugs

Edited for the world's crappiest typing. :)
 
I have to share something that made me proud.

Sable is working on listening. She likes to scoot in close to plates to seeeeee what's on them. We have been working on '"back up" and sign language commands.
Now I just say her name and sign and she backs up 3 steps then sits.

She is progressing nicely into a well mannered sweetie.
:yesss:

One sign at a time but someday I will have her responding to more than "out" and "back up".
 

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