Oh how I wish I could be there and hold all your hands and cry with you, it’s sad and scary to go through this, but I think you are doing the right thing. It’s a natural thing dying, people forget this and these days are not exposed to it.
Rather like birth, it’s extremely rare for a woman to have a baby at home; but 50 years ago it wasn’t to uncommon eap in rural areas. So we don’t know about these things outside of a hospital.
It’s alright to cry.
It’s alright to be afraid.
It’s alright to be mad.
It’s alright to not want to deal with it.
It’s alright to be calm….
Everyone experiences things differently, try thinking of this as a natural thing.
Somethings a dying person will have Cheyne-stoke breathing, this is hard to watch and listen to.
The best advice I can give is to take time for yourself, and if your Gran wishes you can read to her, play the radio. I would ask her what she would like. Many times they just want to be left in quiet. And that’s alright also.
I am sending hugs and prayers to you and your family, for a quiet passing



